fall.jpgAlmost 4 years ago I sat in a doctors office, bouncing my baby daughter upon my knee, whilst a medical professional told me I had breast cancer. She looked at me with a sadness and confusion that almost annoyed me as I desperately tried to calm my fussy baby. In that moment, I was more interested in calming my daughter than facing the concern of the stranger in a white coat who patted my arm and asked me “Do you understand what I am trying to tell you? This is bad news.”

Yes, I told her. Yes, I understand. I whipped out the offending breast and popped a nipple in my daughters mouth. I looked at the curvaceous white flesh that provided my baby with life giving nutrients and wondered whether the same breast would take my life. Yes, I understand. But in the way of human nature, I clung to the little piece of hope hidden within the box of bad news – more tests meant uncertainty. I could live with uncertainty. Read the rest of this entry »

quote-anne-lamottHello world.

It has been rather a long time since we last spoke – so long in fact, that I forgot my log in to this blog. I was in hibernation, or in hiding. I think I still am. I am not even sure if I am ready to be here, to hold this space, to open the door and let anyone in, but here I am. Scared witless and struggling, but still here.

For the last year or so I have had the worst writers block I have ever experienced. It was only today that I finally accepted the truth – that I was not only finding it difficult to write, but that I have been actively avoiding it. For someone who believes in living ones truth, I have been living a lie. Or lots of little lies. Lies of omission.

I haven’t finished the book I was writing. A book I know is meant to be birthed into this world, a book with a due date that is past due, a book that should be nestled on my shelves with the scent of fresh ink. A book I have let down repeatedly by not giving my best, my all, my heart and soul, my truth. I stand still with anger, and the pages remain blank.

Here is the painful truth. I first write to clear my mind, then to open the floodgates of my soul, and then to pour myself and my stories onto the page. To feel the flow of words where the magic of creation happens. I cannot write with a cluttered mind, and my mind is cluttered. The floodgates are jammed with debris, the flow slowed, and the magic out of reach…. because I won’t let myself write the words I need to write. I am creating the blockage, I am the clutter, I am holding myself back, I am holding myself in. It is not that I cannot write, it is that I am afraid to. The words that need to spill out of me are personal, emotional, ugly and revealing. I need to turn my blood to ink and then bleed all over the page in ways that other people may find unpleasant and uncomfortable because what I need to write are all the reasons I could not write. I am afraid that in telling my stories, I will be telling the stories of all those connected to me. I censored myself so much, in fear and compromise and consideration of others, that I taped my own mouth shut.

vulnerability

 

Enough is enough. I am on a journey to the underworld, and like Inanna I will strip myself bare to face the truth of love and loss. Through the dark half of this year I will turn my inner journey outwards and as the world awakens, so shall I.

I shall be vulnerable, and I shall be strong.

 

 

Thank you World, I needed that. Maybe we can talk again tomorrow.

 

 

Bright Blessings,

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This article is a copyrighted extract from the upcoming book, The Inner Alchemy of Witchcraft by Romany Rivers.

Country Diary : Crows fly through branches of a tree“Air is the invisible Element, all around us and within us, connecting every aspect of the universe. It is the space between the cells of our being, the breath we exchange with others and the words we use to share our ideas. Air is inspiration and communication, thought and dream, education and knowledge. It is the Element of mind – ours and the Divine. […]

The secret of Air is its limitless potential, its ability to free every thought, to carry every idea, to blow away the dust from our eyes and show us every inspiration of magic. Air is naturally without borders or boundaries, moving from me to you, from you to another with ease and freedom. The danger of this freedom is that bad news and harmful ideas will be just as airborne as beneficial ones. We can impact ourselves, our friends, our families and our communities just as quickly with harmful words and thoughts. A mind clouded with hatred is just as capable of harnessing the power of Air as a mind clear of cluttered thoughts. Therefore we must, as magical practitioners, be aware of what we think and say. We must also be aware of the thoughts and words of others that we take on as our internal monologue. […]

Air will feed a fire, or put it out.

The flickering flame within the darkness and the house burning to the ground, both are fed by air. Our intentions and our words are like the oxygen that fans the flames of passion or anger. Yet air also has the power to extinguish fire, and it is this contradiction of abilities that we often overlook. Just as we breathe onto a spark to bring it to life, so we can use our breath to blow out the candle flame. We can fan a little flame until it burns brightly in the darkness, using the power of Air to uplift the spirit, encourage passion and confidence, and to illuminate the dark times. We can feed a small fire, giving it the gust it needs to grow, jump, spread and cause further damage. We can inadvertently breathe new life into a dying fire, whether we mean to or not, or we can consciously choose to extinguish a flame before it rages beyond control. How we choose to use our intention and words during times of heightened emotions will determine whether we encourage the fire to rage, or whether we use our power to cease its path of potential destruction.

Those in a position of authority within the spiritual community, teachers, elders, leaders, or priests, will come across this teaching of air time and time again. With awareness we can clearly see how the power or air impacts the power of fire, how the words of someone perceived to be in a position of authority can fan the flames of passion, cut off the air supply that feeds dangerous fires of anger, breathe life into dying embers of old teachings, or fuels the little flames that light up the night. With power comes responsibility, but the power of air and the responsibility of use is not reserved to the leaders of our communities. The Element of Air resides within and around all of us, and we each have the power to choose how we use it. Be aware of how your words and intentions encourage or extinguish the flames around you. Be aware of what you fuel with your breath of being.”

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Romany Rivers is the author of Poison Pen Letters to Myself, The Woven Word: A Book of Invocations and Inspirations, and The Inner Alchemy of Witchcraft. Community books and Anthologies include Witchcraft Today 60 Years On, Naming The Goddess, Moon Poets and Pagan Planet.

hearth altarAs part therapy and part devotional writing practice, I often use writing prompts given to me. I don’t know what I will be given, and I don’t know what I will write, I simply put pen to paper and let it form before me. These prompts can be an amazing technique for getting over writers block, or for self analysis and self exploration. I don’t think about the prompt too much, I don’t usually edit what words hit the page, and after the fact I often find myself surprised by what is created within the spilled ink. It is as if the deepest parts of me surface, and the small snippets of subconscious become a focus for conscious meditations. Today I was given the prompt “If I were a house, my walls would be…”

I fully expected that the word ‘walls’ would bring forth ideas of boundaries, defensiveness, perhaps even raise the many challenges I have faced this last year. As always, I surprised myself.

If I were a house, my walls would be cracked and patched with plaster and paint. They would be old and new, rough and smooth. Layered with years of paint in various colours, reflecting the seasons and reasons of my life. Here and there, holes still remain from pictures long since removed. Art peppers the walls in muted, rich and earthy tones; pictures and paintings and fabric hangings. To the stranger, a single glance would reveal a creative and artistic house, beautiful and uplifting. It would take a renovator, someone who understands the nature of broken things, to see the cracks and repairs beneath the surface. Someone who knows how much time and effort goes into gentle repairs and careful redecoration. Someone who knows how to make old, tired and broken things beautiful again with love and belief. My walls show the story of a house made a home with perseverance and pride.”

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Writing prompts are endlessly revealing. Take the time today to put pen to paper and let yourself be surprised.

Blessings, Romany

Broken_Heart_by_Chain_sawIt is possible to drown in ones tears.

I know.

I died a little this last dark and new moon.

The funny thing is, I have been drowning for quite a while. Every tear has been adding to the pool around me, threatening to engulf me, as I have turned my head this way and that, kicked my feet, and tried desperately to keep my head above water. Most of the time I succeeded, although there were many occasions I thought I was going under. It isn’t surprising, but it is terrifying. I feared drowning in my sorrow, feared what it would mean, feared the possibility that I would never surface again. I feared dying inside. So I fought endlessly, pushed myself, sought comfort and support. I just kept swimming. Read the rest of this entry »

EarthDay

Image  —  Posted: April 22, 2015 in Images
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triple-goddessIt was during the very womanly act of pregnancy that I lost my sense of womanliness. In the act of becoming a mother, that I let go the other parts of feminine self. I lost myself, I lost my sense of sacredness, my sense of sexuality. I felt adrift from myself. It was on the journey to rediscover the sassy, confident woman I once was that I first fell in love with the luscious Lady Lister. Not a woman who has all her shit together, not a woman filled with shoulds and quick fixes, but a woman totally immersed in the sacred act of being her messy, beautiful self. In her passion, I learned to listen to my own passions. In circles with other women, I learned to listen to others asking the same questions as myself, and better yet we all encouraged each other to find those answers within. With the sacred She behind me, I got up off my knees and started walking towards myself. I came home to myself.

Part of that process was getting to grips with my body once more. Not just rediscovering my sexuality, not just learning to love my ever changing form, but actually understanding my personal cycles and seasons. Getting to know my monthly flow and how that affects me throughout all aspects of my life was a game changer for me. Suddenly I understood how to time my periods of productivity, activity, creativity and rest with my natural body rhythm. I stopped pushing myself to meet deadlines on days when I knew I would feel tired and emotionally drained, and I started booking more networking activities around the peak of my fertility cycle. My stress levels lowered, I became more conscious of my personal needs, and overall I coped with my day to day life better – all because I stopped treating my monthly bleed as a burden and started working with it instead of against it.

This whole learning curve was inspired by Lisa Lister and her desire to support women in unlocking their own lady code. I listened and watched as Lisa pulled together her knowledge and wrote the book known as Code Red: Know Your Flow, Unlock Your Super Powers + Create a Bloody Amazing Life. Period.

Code Red“So, there’s a code.
A lady code.
It’s ancient, it’s deeply spiritual and more than that, it’s powerful.
Fiercely powerful.
So powerful that it’s barely been spoken about in over 2,000 years.

Your menstrual cycle.

Yep, your period is way more than PMS, carb cravings and lady rage, your menstrual cycle/period/ragtime/ – insert whatever you call your ‘time of the month’ here – is actually a 4-part lady code, that once cracked, will uncover a series of monthly superpowers that can be used to enhance your relationships with others, build a better business, have incredible sex + create a ‘bloody’ amazing life.

Code Red, from the creatrix of thesassyshe.com, Lisa Lister, is a call to action. A rallying cry thats calls you to explore, navigate and most importantly, love your lady landscape.

You’ll learn how to live and work in complete alignment with the rhythms of nature, the moon and your menstrual cycle, be inspired by insights from Wise and Wild Women like Meggan Watterson, Alexandra Pope and Uma Dinsmore Tuli and gain access to easy-to-follow strategies and SHE flow practices. You’ll be invited to re-connect with your true nature as a woman, tap into the transformative power of your innate feminine wisdom and use your menstrual cycle as an ever-unfolding map to crack your lady code.”

Honestly, I cannot recommend this book enough – and I am not the only one. Get down and dirty with yourself, learn the power of the period, and find your rhythm. Go on ladies, the sacred She is calling you.

“Code Red is a modern priestess guide for women to go within and use their feminine cycles to lead the good life.  Lisa Lister is sounding the call for you to heal your cycle, accept your ever changing body, and honor your feminine soul. This is the essential foundation and practice for you to get in your ‘FLO’ and  become the powerful force of nature that you are designed to be!”
Alisa Vitti, Hormonal Health Expert and Author of WomanCode

“Lisa Lister doesn’t mess around. She’s here to break boundaries and barriers that have been created by what society defines ‘normal’ and in turn, remind us what’s real. Teaching and leading other girls to honour their divinity inside and out is no easy task and for that reason alone, I respect Lisa wholeheartedly. As far as I’m concerned, Lisa is part angel, part goddess and part rocker – she writes in a way that’s friendly, honest and captivating. This book is filled with ‘aha!’ moments from beginning to end. Let Code Red help you recognize your monthly flow – as a reminder you are fiercely feminine.”
Kyle Gray, Bestselling Author of Angel Prayers

Want

Posted: March 7, 2015 in Inner Journey, Poetry
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The Sensual Eye

The Sensual Eye

I don’t want to be here

I want to be there with you

Skin on skin

Dripping hot wax onto your flesh, cooling it with my breath

Scratching it off with my fingernails

I want hot lips and tongues leaving wet trails that cool into shivers

I want teeth nipping and biting

Fingers tangled in hair

I want to feel your body rise and reach towards my fingertips

I want back arching, lip biting, gasping, pushing, pulling, fighting for control, losing control love

Primal needs met in the language of moans and whimpers

Howling at the moon together

I want to feel possessed by passion

Lost in lust

Lose myself and find myself in the torture of touch

I want, I want, I want

(C) 2015 Romany Rivers

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Arise

Posted: March 2, 2015 in Inner Journey, Poetry
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Country Diary : Crows fly through branches of a tree
I awoke to a hundred crows perched upon the trees
Surrounding the boundaries of my property
Their cries harsh and hypnotic,
Falling over one another with the urge to speak.
A rhythm emerged, like clocks slowly syncing over time
Then silence sneaked in
Three lonely cries
And all did rise
Black upon the lightening sky
With drum beat of pounding wings
Leaving me windswept and reeling
Bereft in the quiet dawn

(c)2015 Romany Rivers

winter moon

The bitter breath of air whips the snow from its perch,
Lifting and twisting.
For the briefest moment the Spirit of Winter is made form,
White upon white before my eyes
The coldest kiss of an angel.