Posts Tagged ‘Life’

fall.jpgAlmost 4 years ago I sat in a doctors office, bouncing my baby daughter upon my knee, whilst a medical professional told me I had breast cancer. She looked at me with a sadness and confusion that almost annoyed me as I desperately tried to calm my fussy baby. In that moment, I was more interested in calming my daughter than facing the concern of the stranger in a white coat who patted my arm and asked me “Do you understand what I am trying to tell you? This is bad news.”

Yes, I told her. Yes, I understand. I whipped out the offending breast and popped a nipple in my daughters mouth. I looked at the curvaceous white flesh that provided my baby with life giving nutrients and wondered whether the same breast would take my life. Yes, I understand. But in the way of human nature, I clung to the little piece of hope hidden within the box of bad news – more tests meant uncertainty. I could live with uncertainty. (more…)

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The wheel of the year turns and Samhain rolls around again. Whilst I attend Halloween parties for small children dressed as Superheroes and Firefighters, whilst I prepare for the onslaught of trick or treaters, whilst I fake shudder at every garish Halloween decoration my son points to, deep down inside I feel the mixture of grief and love this festival offers me. Samhain is a time to honour our beloved dead, our ancestors, the children we never had the chance to watch grow up, the ones we miss with every beat of our heart. As the veil between the worlds becomes thin, we turn our minds to the ones we hold in our hearts, but not in our arms.

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